Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Lessons from the Garden: My favorite child / triage

Just to clear things up- I dont have a favorite child.  I love all my kids all the time.  :)

But when it comes to the garden, the tomato is the favored one.  When you have record rains and despite all your efforts, the weeds are taking over, you have to concentrate your energy.  There is only so much time to give to weeding and tending.  Some things don't get attention.  Sorry green beans. 

The tomatoes win me every year.  It could be because the tomato and mayonnaise sandwich is the best thing to eat ever.   It could be because they are so versatile, going in just about any dish I make this time of year.  I can freeze them, I can can them.  I will be tasting their goodness on the darkest days of winter. 

I don't know why I choose tomatoes over the other vegetables, but I do and I am rewarded now with a bumper crop of these jewels.  The green beans are gone, covered by weeds.  The carrots are hanging on, but there has been a lot of rain for those guys to take.  And the beets are there, but I haven't really dug them up to check on them.

Sad to say, I have had to learn how to do triage on relationships at times.  I have had some relationships that I worked really hard on, even when there was every sign that that relationship was pretty one sided and unhealthy.  I have willed a relationship to be more than it was, but the weeds and floods took it away. 

I now have a pretty good radar for when a relationship is going to suck the life out of me.  I don't mean that I wouldn't stick by a friend's side through a hard time; that is the very essence of friendship.  I mean that sometimes a friendship is not live-giving to both people.  One person is getting encouraged, built up and supported and the other person is ignored. 

I don't know that I am explaining it well because it is one of those things that when you are in the situation, you know it.  And before, I would try try try to get another person to join in the kind of relationship I wanted.  Now I know I can only give what I can give and receive what God brings my way. 

It sounds sad to let some friends go, but when you see the fruit prospering in a healthy relationship, it is a beautiful thing. 

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Lessons from the garden: get by with a little help from your friends

Back in the spring I worked and worked.  I dug up soil, I planted, I mulched.  I took little moments when my toddler was happy and got as much in the ground as I could.  But the day came when it was too late in the season to plant my seeds and I still had big empty spaces in the garden. 

I faced my limits and I accepted them.  There is only so much time I can give. 

And then my neighbor texts- do you want some watermelon plants? 

They had some volunteer plants from last year and I filled in my last spaces with these gifts.

We do what we can and when we can't, many times God sends someone to fill in the gaps.  He made us to not be able to do it all on our own.  He made us to need others. 

Sometimes I'm the giver and sometimes I'm the receiver.  I have to be open to both.

And the old adage is true "good fences make good neighbors".  We have to know how much we can give and how much we can't give.  We have to know when its time to ask and receive help. We have to be honest with others and ourselves. 

Because this garden isn't just for us anyway.  When zucchini is coming out of our ears and tomatoes are falling from the vine, we see that's its all a gift its all grace.

We are all on the receiving end all the time.