To see my own sin. To look in the mirror of my heart and see what is there.
I can rationalize the things I do or don't do. I can come up with a million reasons why it is OK for me to do what I know I shouldn't.
I often get in the trap of berating myself. Sometimes my mental dialogue never lets me off the hook for anything.
I am really good at denial and self-loathing.
What I am not good at is what I am praying for in this prayer.
I am praying for sight. I am praying to see.
And thats why St. Isaac brought back the refrain of "Lord and King". It takes someone greater than me to help me see. To heal my blindness that makes me either ignore my sins and faults or wallow in them.
I just need to see. I need to have the blindfold pulled off and see with honest vision the mess of my heart.
And thats what confession is. I bring the bad and the ugly to God.
And He takes care of it.