Gathering my Thoughts

Elizabeth Foss has been one of my favorite blog authors since I started reading blogs.  Her voice has helped me in my growing into my vocation of motherhood.  In honor of her honesty and faith, I am doing a "Gathering My Thoughts"  post today.

:: outside my window
It is summer, but not the sticky oppressive summer.  The breezy warm, stay on the porch and drink sweet tea kind of summer.  After a long winter, it is feels like riches.

:: listening to
Silence.  Big kids are at grandmas.  Baby is asleep.  This is my productive time.  All 45 minutes of it.

:: clothing myself in
Capris and a sleeveless top.  My oldest has been growing through lots of clothes lately and gets sentimental when I pronounce something too small.  When he saw my capri pants today he told me I was growing out of them.  :) 

:: talking with my children about these books
Little Women-  My oldest and I are reading it together this summer.  He asked me the other day "Beth is going to get better, right?"  I channeled my inner Marmee and said, "You'll see."  My middle one looked ahead and saw in the pictures that someone gets married and decided it must be Beth, so he pronounced that it would all work out.  We may have some tears shed before this is over
Ramona books-  My favorite childrens book series of all time.  I see why I loved these so dearly as a child.  She really communicates the inner world of a child so clearly.  The plot lines are so very mundane, but the rich characterization and internal dialogue make you feel like the world has shifted.  Which, of course, it has for an 8 year old.  Very satisfying reading.

:: thinking and thinking
About Saints Peter and Paul.  This podcast got me thinking about how very different these two men were and yet how God used each one mightily and even brought them together in unity.  It gives me hope for the church.  God can work in very diverse people that don't always even like each other. There is hope for me.

Ok, my 5 minutes are up.  I need go capitalize on what remains of baby rest time.

teaching me everyday

God gave me very different children.  I guess we can all say that.  The gifts of one are the struggles of another and vice versa.  They are each beautiful, radiant with joy which helps me think I am doing something right. . . so far. 

Having children with different needs, different strengths, different challenges pushes me to think creatively and react with empathy.  Sometimes I get frustrated, wonder how I am repeating something we have discussed dozens of times.  On the bad days, I am just breathing deep and moving on to the next thing.  On good days, I remember how I still knit so poorly after years of doing it.  I think about how some things just dont interest me at all and I have to listen patiently when someone else gushes about those topics. 

I am learning still. And my children are my teachers.

get to bed

this is the time of night when its all we can do to get our kids in bed and all of us still speak nicely to each other.  when it comes to cleaning their room and getting dressed, they are like the dog who bolts whenever it sees a squirrel.  suddenly everything becomes really interesting and important.  the catalog that arrived three days ago, the car driving down the street, plans for tomorrow are all distractions that pull them away from the task at hand.  getting dressed, brushing their teeth, etc.

We started a tradition several years ago that centers us after the hectic, crazy getting to bed frenzy.  We sit together and we each tell about the best part of our day.  At first, we talked about the best and worst parts of our day, but we found that the worst part quickly became a griping session.  So now we end the day with gratitude.  There is always something to be thankful for.  Sometimes after a hard day at the office for Dad, the best part is coming home.  Sometimes after a hard day for mom, the best part is Dad coming home. 

Then we pray.  We sing before the icon corner and remember what is true and real and beautiful. We lay aside the frustrations and burdens of the day.  The hymn we often sing is the oldest hymn outside of the Bible.  I think of generations of mothers, weary from the day of work and child raising, remembering in their deep down souls the glory of God and turning their grumbling hearts to praising hearts.

For meet it is at all times to worship Thee with voices of praise. O Son of God and Giver of Life, therefore all the world doth glorify Thee.

all of us

In a few weeks, my husband and I will have been together for half our lives.
When we were first married, I remember dreaming of this point.  I loved the idea of living more of our lives as a couple than we ever did apart. And here we are.  We are growing old together.

It is hard to write about my husband, because I lose perspective that we are truly two different people.  We talk so much about so many issues, as mundane as the grocery list and as profound as trinitarian theology (and that is all in one day!)  Our relationship is so good, so strong, I really do take for granted that marriage is work.  A holy, blessed work. 

Today I listened to a talk by Met. Kallistos Ware about the Orthodox marriage ceremony.  It was beautiful picture of mutual submission, celebration and exaltation. 


I dont usually get inspiration from current pop love songs, but I caught one the other day that just brought tears to my eyes.  Buried in the lyrics was a nugget of truth of what marriage truly is.

"I give you all of me and you give me all of you. "

im a small town girl

I spent a good chunk of my life in a city, not a huge city, but a European city where the population is concentrated together more than most American cities.  I got really used to public transportation, beggars, and small little neighborhood shops.

I can confirm that I am definitely not a city girl.

I grew up in a suburb, a neighborhood built for people to sleep and eat in and then go to work 15 or 20 minutes away.  It is a beautiful neighborhood, with tall trees and manicured lawns.  I have so many good memories there and it warms my heart to see my kids playing in the same places I did. 

But my heart isn't really in the suburbs.

I am a small town girl.  I love going down the street and naming who I know (or knew) in each house.  I love that my son took horseback lessons from the mayor and if my water pressure is low, my 3rd grade teachers wife is who I call. 


In a world where we are glued to our cell phones, connect with others virtually, and have such struggles with loneliness, there is a deep joy in the web of love that cradles me in this small town. 

Today we are celebrate this nation, and I also celebrate my hometown.

Im back. . .

This is my stone to throw to the world. . .

I left this blog because I had so many pressing things, i didnt know what to do and this seemed optional.

Over a year later, the list isnt shorter, but the discussion at Melissa's blog has reminded me of all the good fruit I have received from blogs over the years. 

So I am going to try again.  5 minutes, thats all.  Whatever I have on my mind is what will come out.  Well, with some filters. :)

It is a cool day today and i am going to spend as much time outside weeding as I can.  The garden is doing so great this year, but the weeds are growing too.

Notes to myself:
Vacationing in June is way better for the gardener's timeframe.  Everything is in the ground by then but there is not anything needing to be picked yet (except strawberries).

Mulch next year as you are planting.  Digging out weeds in July and laying down newspaper is much harder.  and less effective.

Planning for next year in my head.  We are studying US history.  Thankful that we have so many books already.  Thankful for a good library.  I am figuring out what are the most important books to read.  This is the last year my oldest will be doing the same history as us, so I want to make it a fun, memorable year.

More tomorrow. . .

a pledge- no new projects

i have 12 weeks til this baby comes.  It may be an ENFJ thing, but I get inspired to start a project, and somewhere get distracted and set the project aside.  I love it when things are finished, but sometimes going the last mile is slow in happening.  So, I am committing here in the public arena- NO NEW PROJECTS!  I have so much to finish, there will not be enough time before baby comes, but I can hope. 

Here are projects that I have started and not finished . . . yet:

timeline notebook with boys
medical bills binder
file system for next year homeschooling
close out accounts from homeschool group
begin accounts for next year homeschool group
knitted washcloth
knitted tshirt bath rug
knitted baby poncho
maternity shirt
research paper
superhero puppets

 This is just what I remember off the top of my head.  There are more, I am sure that i have forgotten.  I will add them as a remember and cross off the completed ones.