being the tool of the tool

This is a wonderful column. Go read it. Let it help you think about how technology is NOT helping you.

I don't have an iphone, though I have coveted them. This article makes me reconsider the ways I am already enslaved by the thing that are supposed to "help" me.

A letter to myself on my 36th birthday

This is the summer of your life. Your days are full and busy and beautiful. Though money can be tight, you are rich beyond imagination. You have two wondrous, bright, zest-filled boys and part of the credit for the miracle of their lives goes to you. Yes, there are dust bunnies and clutter and laundry baskets in your home, but there is abounding love and joy and the music of life.

You work hard. You fail, you fall short, you have weaknesses that you give into, but you try. You are pointed in the right direction and aim to be faithful to the gifts you have been given.

The days are long, but the time is short. Breathe in the goodness, the life, the glory of these days. Each day ask God for strength and mercy and give thanks for what goes right and let go of what goes wrong.

Hold tight to the truth.

Celebrate and cultivate life.

i heart fall

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. ~Albert Camus

This is a great season. Bright beautiful blue skies. Sunshine but wind to keep you cool. Leaves showing off their colors before their bedtime. I love the smells of pumpkin bread, apple cider and raking leaves. Here are a few pictures from around our house in this colorful time of year.

I loved this wreath and wanted to make myself one. Hobby Lobby cooperated by having some Martha Stewart glitter on sale. It is very fine glitter, not what I would use with kids, but it has a really nice look, and I am not even a glitzy kind of person.

We have closed up shop on the garden and brought in the still green tomatoes. There are over 100 sitting in our window sills. We will see how many of them ripen.


I will be having a few parties here in the next few weeks and I wanted a little something to bring the autumn feel to our house. I had a few scraps of fall colors and bought a couple fat quarters to fill them out and made a little bunting for our fireplace.

I hope you are finding beauty around every corner this fall.

good prayers said with lying lips

I have been a grumbler lately. From work to laundry, I have been complaining about it. . . in my heart.
I somehow thought that if I kept it inside, then it didn't count. Kind of like internal bleeding.
And it is good that I am not voicing every little grievance with the world as my audience, but keeping it inside still counts.
Then I listened again to the words we pray every morning-

". . . in all my deeds and words, guide my thoughts and feelings. . ."

Even if I keep my grumblings on the insides, am I letting God guide my words and my thoughts?

Am I living a life of joy and gratitude?

Am I looking at this beautiful crisp fall day and inwardly moaning about housecleaning, or rejoicing in the glow of pumpkins and mums on my porch?

God, lift my eyes from my petty frustrations to see you and your glory surrounding me. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear.

God's secrets

Just heard from my beautiful 5 year old:

"Mom, even if you read the Bible 100 times, you would never know all the secrets of God."

ah, yes.

the great dilemma. . .

Mothers are usually the ones behind the camera, so it is so hard to find a good picture of myself. I think I like this profile pic better.

wailing and keening

Wednesday night, my little one faced the pain of grief. His little fish, bought with his own money, died. It's a fish, right? We all know this happens to fish, sometimes sooner, sometimes later.
But to a five year old, this was a great tragedy. Red Goldie Fin was in a bowl next to his bed. He was a companion at naps and at night. And this week my son had to attempt to understand the fact that musicians and poets and philosophers all attempt to grasp- death. Burying his head in his pillow, he wailed. It broke our hearts just to hear him.
I was taken back to the other deaths I have been near. And the sound is the same. The great keen that comes from the guts of someone who stands on one side while one they love has crossed over. That pain, that raw agony of the heart.
I so much wanted to take away my little boy's pain, to quench the burn of mourning. But it couldn't, and even if I could, should I? For the short-lived grief he experienced was a primer for the losses he will inevitably face in life.
We sing of Christ "conquering death by death" and see icons of the harrowing of Hell. The one who is in us and around us has looked at death square in the face. He has wailed, mourned and keened with us. And He has gone through death and brought life out on the other side.

** The picture above was taken at my 5 year olds insistence. He has a printed copy of this on his wallet to carry around with him.